[Dalton]

Fri Nov 4

Been a while since I’ve journaled here. Meant to, but it’s been tough to organize myself and my will in any kind of orderly way recently. Struggling with acting out in addiction, and the guilt and shame that comes along with that.

I am beginning 33 days of Preparations for Marian Consecration (Consecration on Dec 8, the Feast of The Immaculate Conception) tomorrow.

My goals as of now are only 2:

With the help of God’s Grace I will:

Finish the preparation for and make the consecration.
Have 33 days of sobriety, one day at a time.

God Bless,

Dalton

[Dalton]

Mon Oct 24

Today was a pretty decent day all things considered. I went to Mass this morning. Prayed 2 decades of the rosary. Ideal is one full 5 decade rosary every day, but I am not going to force it. I’ll consider one decade enough on any given day for the time being. I went to a Celebrate Recovery meeting but didn’t stay for the full thing. Something just was not feeling right, I was getting anxious so I left. It’s a Christian program and I don’t think there is anything wrong with it per se, but I just wish there was a CIR group near me.

Reflecting on my need and desire for Catholic community. There are two modes of engaging with this lack. Being mode and having mode. Having mode feels driven by a lack, whereas thinking about who I can BE such that I find myself naturally in abundant relationships with fellow Catholics feels more alive. Going to let this incubate but I have some ideas about how I could start moving in that direction.

– pull together a list of all the parishes in my local area
– once a week pull together the bulletins
– put their events on my calandar
– go to as many events as I can
– have faith than from this connections and friendships will happen

Tomorrow: I gotta work early in the morning so I need to get to bed after posting this. What would make tomorrow great? Above all, don’t act out. If I have any urges I will default towards connecting with God and the Blessed Mother through the rosary. Beyond this, I haven’t worked out in a while and I’ve been procrastinating on school work. Which is more important? If I could only have one? I will prioritize school.

So tomorrow will be a good day if I don’t act out and if I do some school work.

Goodnight. God Bless.

[Dalton]

I am originally from a small town in Illinois. Cradle Catholic, Catholic schools from grade school through high school but fell away from The Faith during the New Atheist days. I dabbled in different worldviews and practices for about a decade until God called me back home (via rock bottom) to His one, holy, catholic, and apostolic Church. Currently residing in Virgina, serving in the Navy and studying Information Technology. I spend a lot of time learning about theology and philosophy. I am particularly interested in the Meaning Crisis and the work of John Vervaeke. I hope to grow in my faith alongside a fellowship of faithful Catholics, to be reasonably happy in this life, and supremely happy with Him forever in the next. My faith life at the moment is growing in the direction of Marian devotion. I will be enrolling in the Brown Scapular Confraternity soon, and plan to make the Total Consecration to Jesus Through Mary on Dev 8, the Feast of the Immaculate Conception. I see addiction as being deeper than any one particular substance or behavior, and more as a manifestation of misplaced worship or idolatry. My concern at the moment is that I am pretty isolated and disconnected from any real substantive in person friendship and fellowship, but trying to see this as an opportunity. I know that I am not the only one feeling this way. I would love to help get Catholic in Recovery started in my local area. I look forward to getting to know others here.

God Bless,

Dalton

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