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Hi, i am Kim from Massachusetts. I posted in another thread called introductions. My boyfriend and father of my one year old son is an addict. By the Grace of God he has been sober since august. I am struggling in my relationship with A. There is a great deal of rebuilding and Grace needed in our relationship. I believe God has had His hand on us throughout, and I’m so grateful that A is alive and well today. My journey of discovering that he was an addict and learning what that meant has been many things-eye-opening, scary and traumatic, devastating on quite a few fronts. But it has also opened my heart to the pain and suffering of others, and I know that God makes all things good for those who love Him. I believe there is so much potential for beauty that can come from the pain and suffering we have experienced, something that could reach far beyond ourselves and our family. I am open to what God is doing with us as individuals and as a couple. I feel that I am battling resentments and exhaustion that has stemmed from the fallout of the addiction. I feel that we are on two very different pages at this point in time. I am wondering if anyone has any advice on how to navigate the beginning stages of sobriety with a loved one, as well as any tips on how to discuss for the sake of healing. I try to be gentle and kind with my words, but they can often bring about negative feelings from my loved one, even when I think I have done my best to be considerate. I believe we both want to be supportive and understanding of each other, but I think we’re both struggling with how to do that for the other.
Thank you for listening and I appreciate any insights or thoughts. I am praying for you all. KimHi, my name is Kim. I’m from Massachusetts. I’m here because my significant other and father of my one year old son is an addict. By the grace of God, he has been sober since August of this year. I also have a nine year old daughter. I work full time and have been struggling a great deal internally with feeling overwhelmed. My boyfriend is living in a sober house about an hour away, but we have just recently begun being able to have visits with him. I have been holding our household together by what feels like the skin of my teeth, but I know it is actually also by God’s Grace that I make it through each day. I, too, am struggling with feeling isolated. I began attending CIR meetings about a year ago by zoom, and the community changed my life for the better. but I haven’t been able to attend in recent months as my schedule with the children and holding everything together takes up every moment I can spare in my waking hours. I miss the community, and I have signed up here hoping to reconnect. I hope to gain some insights from anyone out here who is willing to share, and I hope to reciprocally share something hopeful or helpful to you as well.
In terms of my relationship right now, I feel very disconnected to A, he is newly in recovery, has very little or very foggy memory of what transpired prior to becoming sober, and I feel I am carrying a great deal of the burden and fallout. We seem to be in two very different places, but I know that we are both trying to be understanding and supportive of one another. If anyone has any perspective on this particular topic, I would welcome the feedback. Thank you for listening, and I will be praying for you all. -Kim
