Day 39

It was truly a revelation for me in recovery to discover that addictions in their many forms are the poisonous fruit of the spiritual sickness of pride. All the twisted rationalizations I employed to justify harming myself and others in active addiction, such as “I don’t have a problem” (denial), or “I can handle this or stop that when I want” (dishonesty), or “I deserve to do this because I am a victim,” or “I am unlovable,” or “I am beyond mercy” (self-pity) were expressions of a deep seated self-centeredness and narcissism that did not comprehend that my life was truly not my own (cf. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20). Like the prince of Tyre and the Chosen People, God in His providential love allowed me to go through some serious rock-bottom and ruinous moments in order to shake me out of the stupor of my intoxicating pride and finally wake me up to the truth of things.

12-step recovery, when wedded with our Catholic sacramental life, is a life-changing program that teaches us the “power” of powerlessness in God’s grace principally by learning the virtue of humility and applying it to every aspect of our interior lives and in our relationships with God and others. It is definitely not a coincidence that when we shed every pretense of dominion over our lives and the lives of others and humbly accept the good and the bad on God’s terms, and really embrace that hardship and suffering are the pathway to peace, the compulsions that formerly enslaved us release their grip and begin to fade away like so many phantoms. What a miracle! Sanity, sobriety, and serenity become ours as we commit ourselves to a daily program of honest and humble surrender to God’s will in all things. The spiritual formula is always the same: “[The] first will be last, and the last will be first” (Matthew 19:30).

Reflection Questions

• What do you think about the statement that pride is the root cause of all that ails us? How has pride been the fundamental spiritual sickness that drove your addictions, compulsions, and unhealthy attachments and how has learning humility changed your life in recovery?
• How has working the Twelve Steps revealed pride in your life of addiction? How did your Step 4 inventories expose the rot of pride in your heart?

Daily Mass Readings

First Reading: Ezekiel 28:1-10
Responsorial Psalm: Deuteronomy 32:26-27ab, 27cd-28, 30, 35cd-36ab
Gospel: Matthew 19:23-30

Reflection by Pete S.

(c.246-c.330) — Flavia Julia Helena was born to a lower social class, worked as a stable maid according to Saint Anselm, married co-regent Constantius, and gave birth to their son Constantine. Constantius put Helena aside for a more politically advantageous marriage as he ascended in power and eventually became Emperor. Helena never remarried and lived in obscurity until Constantius died and her son became Emperor, shortly after which she converted to Christianity. Saint Helena made a pilgrimage to the Holy Land when nearly 80 years old, according to bishop and historian Eusebius of Caesarea, to restore Christian landmarks. During that time, she found the True Cross.

Who in recovery has ever felt cast aside because they were “less than”? We’ve even done it to ourselves. But in recovery, we embrace our powerlessness. It’s up to Him to restore sanity.

“I know indeed how to live in humble circumstances; I know also how to live with abundance. In every circumstance and in all things I have learned the secret of being well fed and of going hungry, of living in abundance and of being in need. I have the strength for everything through him who empowers me” (Phillipians 4:12-13).

Reflection by Brad Farmer