Then, less than a year after my youngest son had his surgery, my wife woke me up one morning and said she regretted marrying me and wanted to separate. I had been in recovery for 12 years at that point. It was like a punch in the stomach, and I literally couldn’t breathe right for days. When I finally came to my senses weeks later, I realized that I didn’t have to give up or give into fear, which often leads us back into our addictions, compulsions, and unhealthy attachments. It’s true that I did give in to some of the compulsions I used to have with pornography, masturbation, and sexual perversion during that time. Yet, I found again the strength to surrender to God through the sacraments and the Twelve Steps, allowing God to heal me and teach me how to love my wife again unconditionally (something I had stopped doing for a long time). After nine months of intensive work on myself, through the Twelve Steps and a good confessor, and working to love my wife, my wife was able to believe we could save our marriage and allow God to heal us. And God did heal us, helping us to not only love, trust, and respect each other more than ever but also help and witness to others experiencing similar struggles.

All of this relates to today’s first reading, where we see God allowing Satan to test Job and his faith. Although Job experiences a lot of suffering and struggles mightily, he never wavers in his faith in God. I am grateful for Job’s example. It is a reminder that suffering is something that we will all have to endure in this life—whether we are in recovery or not. In my experience, when we choose to remain steadfast in faith, as Job did, by relying on the sacraments and the Twelve Steps, we can experience a peace and comfort superior to the temporary and numbing “relief” that our addictions, compulsions, and unhealthy attachments bring. Choosing to suffer with faith in our recovery allows us to exclaim with gratitude, humility, and trust, “The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD!” (Job 1: 21)

Reflection Questions

• How have you experienced suffering since entering recovery? How did you handle it and how does it compare to how Job handled his own suffering?
• Have you discovered that turning to the Lord and the wisdom of the Twelve Steps is a better way to handle your suffering than numbing it through your addiction, compulsion, or unhealthy attachment? Why or why not?

Daily Mass Readings

First Reading: Job 1:6-22
Responsorial Psalm: Psalm 17:1bcd, 2-3, 6-7
Gospel: Luke 9:46-50

Reflection by Marty T.