The first three steps of recovery are sometimes summarized this way: “I can’t. He can. I will let Him.” In the Gospel, the mother of James and John clearly believes Jesus can do what she cannot. Indeed, she wants good things for her sons; who can say that wanting heaven forever with God is wrong? When Jesus probes more deeply, inviting her to count the cost of drinking from the cup He is to drink, she does not hesitate to accept it. However, because she is entrenched in the scarcity mindset of worldly power systems, which are exclusive and calculating, she is unaware of what this means. She does not know what she is really asking Him.

When I think back to my active food addiction, I recall my “deals” with God: Just this one last binge during this stressful patch, God, and I am done once and for all. Or, I know You will forgive me for this later in confession. Like the mother of James and John, I wanted to “use” God’s power and take advantage of His generosity so that my will could be done. I tried to manipulate God to justify my disordered desire, which was the numbing of feelings with food. I didn’t know what I was asking. I wasn’t calling on God in my distress, embracing my cross, and asking humbly for mercy in my poverty and weakness.

I am in awe of God’s solution to our sinfulness: the Body, Blood, Soul, and Divinity of Jesus Himself. As Saint Thérèse of Lisieux reminds us, just as water flows to the lowest point, so too does Jesus’ merciful blood flow to the “lowest point” of our being when poured out. Mary, intercede for us, that we may be as receptive to God as you were and humbly receive the great gift of His mercy.

Reflection Questions

• What are some obstacles you face or have faced to receiving God’s mercy? How has your “asking” of God changed since you have begun your recovery journey?
• Is there a time when God did not give you what you asked Him for which you are now grateful? Why?

Daily Mass Readings

First Reading: Jeremiah 18:18-20
Responsorial Psalm: Psalm 31:5-6, 14, 15-16
Gospel: Matthew 20:17-28

Reflection by Stephanie N.