The Canaanite woman approaches Jesus and declares her belief in Him, begging our Lord’s mercy for herself and for her daughter. She is fully aware of her powerlessness. Her faith in Jesus is direct, pure, and simple, unlike many of us who upon entering recovery discovered we seriously lacked faith. We found lurking in the depths of our prideful hearts a lack of belief that God knows us, loves us, and has the power to save us. So long as we remained in this “unbelief,” we were condemned to the slavery of our egos, fears, passions, and addictions. The Canaanite woman’s act of faith resonates with our own fundamental act of faith as explicitly affirmed in Steps 1-3 and lived out in the fullness of 12-step recovery.

Curiously, the Canaanite woman’s faith is met by Christ’s silence and then His apparent rejection. This is a test of faith in perseverance. Surely we have all had the same experience in our prayer. For sure, such experiences are never superfluous. They are a necessary trial to purify our hearts of self-will and self-love. In active addiction, our prayer and our relationships in general are so often corrupted by ulterior, selfish motives. We tend to use people and God for our needs rather than loving them for their sake alone. God subjects us to silence and apparent rejection to unmask our ulterior motives, to expose our pride and deceit. This delay in gratification is spiritually necessary to defeat our narcissism and be free to give and receive love.

Finally, the Canaanite woman receives an answer from Jesus that is perhaps not what she expected, a result we often experience in our prayer life. As the old adage goes, “God gives us what we need, not what we want,” and we invariably discover that the unexpected answers to our prayers turn out to be the best answers after all. In this case, Jesus’ answer sounds like an insult: “It is not right to take the food of the children and throw it to the dogs” (Matthew 15:26). But do not be fooled. He is inviting the Canaanite woman (and us) to deep humility, and her brilliant response tells us everything we need to know: “Please, Lord, for even the dogs eat the scraps that fall from the table of their masters” (Matthew 15:27). We are all beggars before God!

May we all learn to pray and trust like the Canaanite woman and rejoice when we hear our Lord declare, “O woman, great is your faith! Let it be done for you as you wish” (Matthew 15:28ab).

Reflection Questions

• How do you handle God’s silence and apparent rejections in your prayer? Do you accept that He gives you what you need, not what you want?
• Of the three qualities exhibited by the Canaanite woman—faith, perseverance, and humility—which do you think is the most important?

Daily Mass Readings

First Reading: Jeremiah 31:1-7
Responsorial Psalm: Jeremiah 31:10, 11-12AB, 13
Gospel: Matthew 15:21-28 

Reflection by Pete S.