Like Judas, we often think someone else is the problem, not ourselves. We tend to project our hate and ill feelings elsewhere. We are tempted to play the victim or create victims, both for the purpose of control and for denying personal responsibility. Our self-pity finds someone else to blame, accuse, attack, and gossip about. Pain is our common condition and if we do not transform it we will surely transmit it.

The contract that Judas made with men of murderous intent is so terrible that we must ask: why? What were his motives? Does the motive of an act make it any less a sin? Isn’t our betrayal of God in our lives always a sin (a broken connection with ourselves, others, and God), regardless of the factors that drove us to the betrayal? Yet, we defend ourselves and diminish our sins with excuses. But if we do not take responsibility for our actions we will never repent—never ask for the Lord’s forgiveness. As we continue our journey through Holy Week, let us ask for forgiveness from others as well as from the Lord. The eighth and ninth steps are especially helpful here.

Jesus accepted the fact that He could not control the behavior of Judas. He also recognized that He would suffer the consequences of Judas’ betrayal. While none of us have been betrayed to the extent Jesus was, we too can experience a type of inner death when we are betrayed by loved ones. Yet, we can maintain our sense of self and find healing for our wounds by embracing the Twelve Steps and leaving the outcome of our broken relationships to God. And just as the healing of our hearts from betrayal requires time and patience, we must also allow those we have betrayed the same for their own healing.

Reflection Questions

• In what ways have you betrayed others and how have you attempted to heal those wounds through recovery?
• Has being betrayed hardened your heart, trapped you in grief, imprisoned you, or worked for your good? What are some of the blessings, lessons, or opportunities for growth that such a betrayal might be offering you?

Daily Mass Readings

First Reading: Isaiah 50:4-9a
Responsorial Psalm: Psalm 69:8-10, 21-22, 31 and 33-34
Gospel: Matthew 26:14-25

Reflection by Marybeth B.