This struggle persisted throughout my drinking days, reaching the extreme of even telling God what was best for me! Many times I was confronted with the necessary steps to transform my life but I was so sick and prideful that I remained deaf. I was not desperate and broken enough. At times, we must reach that famous “rock bottom” and receive “the gift of desperation,”  enabling us to turn our lives over to God.

In today’s Gospel reading, we read:

“As a result of this, many [of] his disciples returned to their former way of life and no longer accompanied him. Jesus then said to the Twelve, ‘Do you also want to leave?’ Simon Peter answered him, ‘Master, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe and are convinced that you are the Holy One of God’” (John 6:66-69).

I experienced a couple of relapses before attaining a sustained period of sobriety. I went back to my former way of life because I was still not sufficiently broken and was unwilling to hear God’s message. I too was like some of the followers in today’s reading who left the Lord, unwilling to accept His voice. Sometimes we don’t like what we hear but it is what we need. I had to become completely broken before coming back to and staying in recovery, where I was welcomed by Jesus with open arms. Knowing that Jesus can restore us to sanity through His word is a gift granted to us in sobriety. It enables us to commence our eternal life here on earth, initiating our journey toward sanctity and freedom from addiction, compulsions, and unhealthy attachments.

In today’s Responsorial Psalm, we read, “O LORD, I am your servant; I am your servant, the son of your handmaid; you have loosed my bonds. To you will I offer a sacrifice of thanksgiving, and I will call upon the name of the LORD.” Through daily gratitude and by becoming God’s servant, we discover the grace to face life’s challenges with joy. We shift our focus to Him rather than the distractions the enemy throws at us and, like Peter, come to say “You have the words of eternal life. We have come to believe and are convinced that you are the Holy One of God.”

Reflection Questions

• What are things that you were not able to hear before coming to recovery that are now helping you maintain recovery?
• What did your “gift of desperation” look like?

Daily Mass Readings

First Reading: Acts 9:31-42
Responsorial Psalm: Psalm 116:12-13, 14-15, 16-17
Gospel: John 6:60-69

Reflection by Juan Carlos P.