The perfectionism and rigidity that drove our addictions can also present a barrier to our recovery life as we seek abstinence and make efforts to live out the Steps. Certainly, there are “non-negotiables” that we must establish with the assistance of our sponsors and spiritual directors/confessors if we are to actively walk away from our addictions. But to remain rigid regarding all “people, places, and things” to avoid, for example, may not be prudent nor conducive to recovery. We may need to accept the guidance of our fellows and trusted mentors to navigate difficult situations rather than always avoid those circumstances altogether. A rigid, “black-and-white” approach may, in certain instances, actually be counterproductive to our recovery and growth. The Pharisees overlooked the purpose of the Law and were quick to point out perceived imperfections in Jesus and His disciples. Perhaps their motive came from a “gotcha” approach, but it is possible that some of them felt threatened by Jews who did not take a rigid, “letter of the law” stance.

As He does so often, Jesus points to the meaning and purpose of God’s law and calls us to focus on mercy. While there is a time and place for sacrifice, mercy for others is a greater call. In our recovery work, the foundations and principles that guide us must be lived out with a perspective that ultimately aims to serve. Our sober life is not lived in isolation and without regard to the needs of others. We must balance the necessary moments of strict adherence to the Steps while understanding their underlying meaning and purpose. Rigidity, black-and-white thinking, and perfectionism—demanded of ourselves and of others for their own sake—will miss the mark and not lead us to serenity and peace. We must trust Jesus to help us discern the moments when we are neglecting the true purpose of our 12-step work and living a rigid, perfectionistic program.

Reflection Questions

• How have rigidity, perfectionism, and black-and-white thinking impacted you in your active addiction and your recovering life?
• In what ways do you seek guidance and discernment to maintain balance in your recovery?

Daily Mass Readings

First Reading: Isaiah 38:1-6, 21-22, 7-8
Responsorial Psalm: Isaiah 38:10, 11, 12abcd, 16
Gospel: Matthew 12:1-8

Reflection by Mark L.