Tony's Story (Alcoholism & Drug Addiction)

Ive had an addiction since I was 14. I learned to hide and conceal it. The shame it brought made me feel like I had to bury it and attempt to overcome it myself. For 12 years I had never seen the power of God's grace until the surrender of my addiction. I feel like the control it had over me is now behind me. The temptation is still very present but the feeling of confidence that through the grace of God I can finally begin to start the life God wants for me has brought me so much peace.

I am a lust addict. I am obsessed with thoughts of my ex-husband. He still lives in the house and when he goes and comes, I think about his movements. I allow my imagination to fill in details of what he could be doing. I want to remember that God is in control and knows what I need to overcome this obsession. I’ve thought of snapping a rubber band on my wrist every time I begin to obsess. I believe the most valuable thing I do is go to adoration to be ready for the grace that God wants to give me.

I took my last drink 3/9/2019. My father’s 40 year day of sobriety. My sisters and I traveled to Florida to celebrate with my dad this amazing event. At that time in my life I was drinking most days and I was miserable. While I was there I decided to not drink for 40 days. I took this as a way to honor my dad he did 40 years I can surely do 40 days. I spoke at my dad’s AA meeting that was to celebrate his 40 years. I’m embarrassed to say that I was hung over at that meeting. They all knew it was I wasn’t fooling anyone! So I started the 40 days what I know now was that I received Grace of God and I have never picked up another drink. I am very happy with that and I know it has been Devine intervention. My husband and I were drinking buddies and now I have become the designated driver for him while he continues to drink. I don’t want to be around it all. My mother died from alcohol related illness and our Best man died 2 years ago too. We were all present for his death. I have been around many people that have died this was the absolute worse thing I ever saw. His 19 year old son had to make decisions that he shouldn’t had. I had to encourage him to do so. Lee passed away on his son’s 17th birthday. I truly don’t know how anyone that was there that day could ever pick up a drink. I found my way to the Catholic Church in 2022 and became a Catholic at the Easter vigil 2023. This has been the best decision of my life. My husbands drinking has really become a problem within our family. He is a happy drunk. The alcohol has effected how he is running his business. We are on the verge of loosing that which to him gives him a reason to drink. Last week I surrendered to God and Jesus. I really surrendered not just saying the words. I gave my life to them, I went to confession and saw Jesus eyes in Father John. I receive God’s grace. I was struggling on Wednesday and went to mass on Thursday. I again received God’s grace when I received communion. I saw Jesus eyes in Father John again. This grace has given me the courage to have an open and honest conversation with my husband Paul. Although he tells me he needs to do this for himself when he is ready. At least he knows how his drinking is effecting me. He has told me that he is lonely. I know I have been spending my time helping anyone I can. My life came to a head 9/3/26 on my deceased brothers 70th birthday and I realized that my husband has not been a priority and I have started the healing. It is going to be a long journey but I will give it my all. I will pray for Paul that he may find God, Jesus and that he will receive their graces!