Step One says that I am powerless over other people’s sexual behavior…I am powerless over the fact that I have been traumatized by the discovery and disclosure of this acting-out behavior. When I finally got to acceptance of my lack of control over the entire situation, I opened myself to the reality that I needed help. My spouse was in the throes of his multiple addictions and not a safe person to rely on for help. I was in the spiritual ICU, unable to care for myself because of the shock and trauma of what had been unburdened on me. I had been hit by a Mack truck. I have had 5 babies and in a situation like this, I needed much more help than I had ever needed. Once I accepted that this is where I was at this point in my life – I couldn’t avoid it, fix it, make it less impactful, control it, etc. – I was finally able to ask for the help I needed from friends, family members, program members, sponsor, therapists and others. Acceptance of my powerlessness was the first step in being able to surrender to doing things differently, opening the door to real change!
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