Unfortunately, as we are all too familiar as recovering addicts, desire can go terribly awry, becoming directed toward and attached to the goods of creation in ways that are profoundly disordered and destructive. Even worse, we discover that our desires and our reason do not match up, are somehow out of sync with one another, and seem to in fact war against each other. The Church calls this concupiscence: “Etymologically, ‘concupiscence’ can refer to any intense form of human desire. Christian theology has given it a particular meaning: the movement of the sensitive appetite contrary to the operation of human reason. The apostle St. Paul identifies it with the rebellion of the ‘flesh’ against the ‘spirit.’ Concupiscence stems from the disobedience of the first sin. It unsettles man’s moral faculties and, without being in itself an offense, inclines man to commit sins” (CCC 2515). This disharmony between the appetites and reason has deep negative ramifications for our moral and spiritual health. It is the phenomenon that above all others puts us most at risk for succumbing to the scourge of addiction. Saint Paul eloquently lamented the perplexing and maddening experience of concupiscence that I think articulates our own struggles with habitual addictive sin: “I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want; rather, I do what I hate … For I do not do the good I desire; rather, it is the evil I do not desire that I end up doing” (Romans 7:15, 19).

The program of recovery, synonymous with conversion, is where our desires are purified and restored to their proper end, the love of God and neighbor. The Twelve Steps teach us virtue—honesty, hope, faith, trust, obedience, courage, repentance, discipline, perseverance, willingness, integrity, piety, sacrifice, service, and above all humility—to attain this end. And our reason and thinking are correctly formed in the principles of recovery and the teachings of the Church. The resultant alignment of desire and right reason brings the gifts of sanity, sobriety, and serenity. It brings true freedom in Christ. It brings the fulfillment of all desire.

“The Lord is my shepherd; there is nothing I shall want” (Responsorial Psalm).

Reflection Questions

• Describe how your hardwired desires went astray in your life of addiction. How did you discover that your disordered desires were not fulfilling or ultimately meaningful?
• What were the delusions that clouded your thinking and drove you to addiction? How has your thinking changed in recovery with respect to your perception of self, purpose in life, and relationship with God and others?

Daily Mass Readings

First Reading: Ezekiel 34:1-11
Responsorial Psalm: Psalm 23:1-3A, 3B-4, 5, 6
Gospel: Matthew 20:1-16

Reflection by Pete S.