The key to a deeper conversion has been Catholic in Recovery. What this ministry revealed to me is that my conversion was incomplete, that at the root of my addictions was a deep and pernicious pride that had rendered my heart black with distrust and fear, from which was born my compulsions to cope with the pain. Most amazingly, I learned that my self-pity was in fact the most insidious form of pride of all. My self-pity was the wall I had erected against God and neighbor, and it was the accelerant always fanning the fire of my compulsions anew. It was literally my spiritual coffin, and I chose to lie in it for far too long.

Happily, by following the path of 12-step recovery and experiencing the honesty, openness, and willingness of others in CIR fellowship, I have literally been spiritually raised from the dead. Within me, at last, is a real integration of head and heart, of total surrender (Step One), and the realization that from within my utter powerlessness comes His wonderful and amazing power. And the proof is in the pudding—my compulsions have been lifted and in its place is a daily yearning to be with Christ in prayer, adoration, and the sacraments. At last, I am on the path to loving God and neighbor with head and heart.

Saint Bonaventure, pray for us!

Reflection Questions

• Consider how recovery has been a path of conversion for you. What have you discovered to be the barriers blocking the light and love of the Lord in your heart?
• An essential truth in recovery is that resentment is fatal to sobriety. Consider your resentments. How do they contribute to fanning the flames of disordered desires, unhealthy attachments, and outright addictions in your life?

Daily Mass Readings

First Reading: Exodus 2:1-15a
Responsorial Psalm: Psalm 69:3, 14, 30-31, 33-34
Gospel: Matthew 11:20-24

Reflection by Pete S.