Many of us step into recovery with feelings of self-pity (it’s not my fault!). We exaggerate the faults of others through pride that gives us false comfort and makes us feel better, at least for a little while. We minimize and explain away our defects because we consider others’ faults worse than our own, so we think. Self-pity is a refusal to accept real help while clinging to denial. It is a dead way of life. We can tend to automatically look for the defects of others that, in actuality, are the very defects we suffer from to make us feel better. One remedy to this, as Saint Augustine tells us, is to “strive to acquire the virtues you think your brothers lack, and then you will no longer see their defects, because you yourselves will not have them.”

The opposite of the sin of pride is the virtue of humility. Only when we are humble can we forgive, truly understand another’s circumstances, and help the person. 12-step programs consider self-pity a character defect, and an effective antidote for self-pity is gratitude steeped in humility. Humility is not thinking less of ourselves than we ought to; it is acknowledging that we do certain things well and others things not so well. Humility is simply having a realistic sense of ourselves. Just for today, let’s look for the similarities between ourselves and our fellows that we find fault with to instead see them with humble compassion and love.

Reflection Questions

• What virtues do you find lacking in your fellows that you can work on acquiring in yourself?
• What esteemable actions can you take today to foster a healthy and mature love for yourself as a beloved child of God?

Daily Mass Readings

First Reading: Genesis 12:1-9
Responsorial Psalm: Psalm 33:12-13, 18-19, 20 and 22
Gospel: Matthew 7:1-5

Reflection by Marcia G.