Finding a Sponsor

[Scott Weeman]

What are the qualities you find valuable in a sponsor? Use this space to share what has been helpful in finding and working with a sponsor.

[Tim]

What I find helpful is if the sponsor has similar addictions and life experiences. Relatability helps when sharing experiences but it is not a requirement. One should feel comfortable, safe, and open with the sponsor when talking about their addiction and any significant trauma or events in their life.

Find a person who has completed or nearly completed the 12 steps (beyond Step 7). This will mean your sponsor is working on the removal of his/her defects and shortcomings. The person you select should be willing to be there for you. If you feel as if you are going to act out call your sponsor, and spend at least 30 to 60 minutes with them working on step work each week. A sponsor is your champion, coach, supporter, mentor, and drill Sargent wrapped into one.

They are an important tool in recovery!

[Whit Smith]

I am looking for a sponsor who is an orthodox Catholic male. I have 14 years of continuous sobriety, but have had a very hard time finding a permanent sponsor over this time period due to deep seated value disagreements in the broader AA community.

• This reply was modified 1 year, 5 months ago by Whit Smith. Reason: grammar

[FRANCES francesincir@gmail.com]

Whit, great contribution to this discussion. Tim, James and I have talked about this very thing a LOT. The connections we are getting through the morning 11th step meetings and now the Saturday night Big Blue Book Step Family meetings and Speaker meeting are allowing us to meet more faithful Catholics whose prayer life is palpitating. Some are new to recovery and some have many years, but the importance of the basics of the steps combined with our Catholic life is resulting in growth. The workbook was just published and emphasizes not going through this alone and under the guidance of someone who has already worked the Twelve Steps. I have an AA/Al-Anon sponsor who helps me and shares with me, but frankly, I have to push on her to work the steps so we have not gotten very far and she is not Catholic. Sharing with other women I am meeting in CIR zoom meetings and with whom I can relate has been refreshing and strengthening. I have found co-sponsoring to be useful in moving through the steps at a deeper level, and mutually beneficial.

My suggestion is go to in-person (if available) meetings and lots of zoom meetings. Get on a few minutes early for the banter and stay on after for “parking lot” meetings and then listen to the shares and reflections. Contact the people you seem to relate to and just get to know them. Be open to people reaching out to you. Through working the program, God (through Mary, Jesus, the Holy Spirit and the angels) will lead you to the person (people) who answer those burning desires – (Things needed and wanted!)

(Obviously, I have difficulty going this deep in the broader AA and other 12-step communities, and it is even more difficult to feed and be fed in those meetings today than it was 30, 40, or even 20 years ago!)

[Whit Smith]

Those are good suggestions. Thank you for your response.

[Ann Arp]

My experience with being sponsored and sponsoring leads me to believe that God does bring the right people together and in many different ways that we couldn’t plan.

In my first AA meeting a little gal followed me out to my car and offered to drive me to another meeting the next day. I continued to drive to meetings with her for a full month continuously talking about how I needed to get a sponsor. I was looking for the perfect fit, considering this one then that one. One day I looked at her and said “Hey! you could be my sponsor”! She replied “I kind of already am.” She had already started sharing her experience with me without me being aware! She’s been my sponsor for 8 years. And here is how God works: she was a cradle Catholic who had moved towards new age belief. As she took me through the steps, I was returning to my Catholic faith and sharing my experiences with the sacraments, catholic prayer, and scripture as it related to my recovery. Over the years she became more and more drawn into my experience without any thought on my part to influence her. She’s just begun going back to Mass and is joining a prayer group in her parish.
In the last few years, Every sponsee God is sending me grew up in Catholic church and all but one is no longer practicing. My newest sponsee has 30 years of sobriety to my eight. She says she asked me to sponsor her because she likes the way I talk about my relationship with God. She is missing that kind of closeness and reliance. Once again she has a lot new age beliefs and was not aware I was a Catholic when she asked me. God works in mysterious ways.

All that being said, In AA we say look for someone who has the kind of sobriety you want, has gone through the steps, who has a sponsor of their own, and who is available.

[Lucy Sneeringer]

I’m brand new and STRUGGLING with sugar addiction. How can I find a sponsor?

[Tim]

Lucy,

Welcome!
The best way is to join one of the General Recovery meetings or there is a Sunday meeting
Virtual Disordered Eating Recovery Disordered Eating Recovery Meeting Sunday 4:00 PM PT

You can find the link here: https://my.catholicinrecovery.com/meetings/

Just post in the Chat you are in need of a sponsor.

Tim.

[Robyn Hiatt]

I’ve attended local AA meetings and they’ve been bittersweet. I’ve come to know and love these fellow AA’ers and my 2 ex-sponsors (1 Baptist and 1 that said she believes in God only) just didn’t have what I need, the latter was down right abusive when she found out I was a conservative Catholic. If I had been looking for a reason to start back drinking, she would’ve been it. I need someone I can relate to in my faith life and is on the same spiritual journey as I am. It’s EXTREMELY hard for me not to bring Jesus and our Blessed Mother into my sharing. I’m in the process of starting a CIR meeting at my parish and I’m waiting on my priest to make the final decision. Any recommendations would be extremely helpful and welcomed.

[Tim]

Robyn,

Be glad to assist with helping you get the ball across the line with your priest or sponsorship.
You can reach me at 859-412-0306 or by email: TimMorehead@fiopticcs.com

God Bless Tim

[Theresa Slaughter]

How do I find a sponsor? And how would I begin a CIR in my area at my Church? How would I ask the Church? Priest? Is there a process or format or information I may provide to my local parish and priests? Does CIR have a list of available sponsors? Thank you.

Theresa S. ~ lightwithin71@gmail.com / (916) 548-5339

[Robyn Hiatt]

Hi Theresa,

Email Marcia at marcia@catholicinrecovery.com and she can =get you started. She has a Parish Proposal that you can give to your priest. Good luck.

I don’t know about the list, I’m looking for one as well.

God bless

[Jenny Teeters]

It’s so wonderful to see the inquiries about starting a group and sponsorship!

If it hasn’t already been shared, here is a form to start a new CiR group. This kicks off a number of activities. https://catholicinrecovery.com/meetings-2021-2/start-meeting-group/

One of the best ways to look for a sponsor is to attend Catholic in Recovery meetings as there are many virtual calls you can attend. While in those meetings you can see and hear individuals who you may connect with. By all means place your number in the chat or state that you are looking for a sponsor.

I am happy to chat as well: jennyteeters@gmail.com.

God Bless,
Jenny

[George Lensing]

Good evening! I have a sponsor in another program, but I know he would be willing to release me, because he cares about my success in the program. He knows I am a devout Catholic and wants me to find ways the Catholic faith can flesh out the steps to be more impactful to me and my success in recovery. Of course, before I was to accept a new sponsor I will be officially released from my current sponsor. I just do not like the idea of being without one. I kindly ask for prayers and direction in obtaining a new sponsor in CIR to walk with me through the CIR Workbook and overall recovery. With God’s grace and gratitude. –George

[Lynn Moser]

I’m looking for a female sponsor who has similar experiences with addictions, mental and physical challenges with sexual abuse, and verbal abuse from husband, behavior impulses that are overwhelming triggering.

[Author]

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