Saint Lawrence, in the face of ruthless evil, was as shrewd as a serpent and as innocent as a dove (cf. Matthew 10:16). He did not compromise his faith in the midst of suffering. He was clever and courageous in adversity. And he gave bold witness to two core principles at the very heart of conversion in recovery— detachment from self-will (poverty of spirit) and the necessity of selflessly loving God and neighbor (Steps 11 and 12) as the way to true happiness. In this manner, he defeated temptation and evil and became truly Christ-like, something that is no different for us in recovery and the call of every baptized Christian.
In today’s Gospel, Jesus says, “Amen, amen, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains just a grain of wheat; but if it dies, it produces much fruit. Whoever loves his life loses it, and whoever hates his life in this world will preserve it for eternal life. Whoever serves me must follow me, and where I am, there also will my servant be. The Father will honor whoever serves me” (John 12:24-26). Saint Lawrence unambiguously fulfilled Our Lord’s teaching because he heroically embraced Step Three—he utterly turned his will and life over to care of God as he understood Him in this life. No half measures here! He gave up everything for the love of God and neighbor, and his reward was great in Heaven!
While I pray we never undergo the bloody martyrdom that Saint Lawrence and countless souls have faced and will continue to endure in the life of the Church, I earnestly hope that anyone reading this truly grasps that recovery is a spiritual path that involves a real death to the grasping, clutching, fearful, distrusting, selfish, narcissistic, egoic, and prideful self that spawns the destructive attachments, compulsions, and addictions (the antithesis to poverty of spirit) that ruin our lives and grievously wound our ability to give and receive love (Steps 11 & 12).
So, remember that every time we battle the passions and appetites, the sudden and relentless temptations to indulge pleasure and reject love and suffering, we are undergoing a purification, a martyrdom, a crucifixion of the self that our Father in Heaven sees and will reward if we persevere to the very end. We affirm this in AA when we say that “what we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition” (Alcoholics Anonymous). And the great Saint Benedict advises that “the days of this life are lengthened and a truce granted us…that we may amend our evil ways” (Rule of Saint Benedict). Whether daily reprieve or truce, what we clearly have is an undeserved gift each day to live with gratitude, to amend our lives, to love God and neighbor, and to die to self. May we use these gifts wisely!
Saint Lawrence, pray for us!
Reflection Questions
- What unhealthy principles have you identified in your addiction(s)? How have you integrated the principles exemplified by Saint Lawrence—steadfast faith, cleverness or creativity, courage, poverty of spirit, love of God and neighbor—in your program of recovery?
- What is your understanding of recovery as a “daily reprieve” or a “truce granted us” by God? How are you seeking to use the “gift” of each day wisely in the maintenance of your spiritual condition and to amend your evil ways?
Daily Mass Readings
First Reading: 2 Corinthians 9:6-10
Responsorial Psalm: Psalm 112:1-2, 5-6, 7-8, 9
Gospel: John 12:24-26
Reflection by Pete S.